I don't think I've found the perfect person. I tell him things like.. I'm not letting go. I be an arsehole and say I can't believe he did let go. You know what's the hardest about this break up? I'm not used to people not liking me. I'm used to them wanting more than anything to have me. Ethan was never like that. Obviously why I was attracted to him.
An Italian asked me out today on a napkin. It was sweet, seriously was. But I can't look at other guys yet. Or can I? Can I just say a massive fuck you to Ethan for letting me go? <--- that's just so mean because I was the one that screwed up. Idk what to do. / how to proceed.
Eth talked to me yesterday for once. I told him that I can't believe he's letting it end. And that obviously I felt so much more for him than he did for me. Which I already thought. Already knew. But at the same time when he'd say ily, it was like he'd never said something so strong before. I had though. And I knew that when I said it, like I could cry. I was so emotionally connected to him, just saying i love you was like overwhelming. Shit it was bad. I was so whipped. And the worst part?! The fucking worst part... I think half of it's in my head. I think probably 70% of it is in my head. If I was look objectively, Eth is not the person for me. Like obviously !
At school it was so obvious.. Realife it's so obvious.
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